Banana George

I recently watched a video of a news report that came up on my feed. It was of 93-year-old man who was being supported by each arm as he walked. The reporter stated he had had numerous back operations. Taking small shuffling steps, hunched over and head forward, you could see age had really taken its toll on his body. But there was something very different about this 93-year-old. He was wearing a bright yellow wetsuit. His name was “Banana George”.

Now “Banana George” was determined to do something for one last time, something that he was obviously passionate about. He wanted to barefoot waterski. Then he hooked onto the side of the boat and grabbed hold of the rail. The boat took off and…he was barefoot skiing.

The ride only lasted a few seconds, but there was a photo of him on the water, holding onto the rail, with the biggest child like smile on his face. And at that moment you knew he was content and fully fulfilled with joy and happiness.

Prior to the ride his wife was asked, “Why don’t you stop him?”. Full of sass, her reply was “I can’t stop him, no one can”. And she was enjoying watching him being the centre of attention and watching him do what he loved.

At the end of the clip “Banana George said two things. The first (which I loved) was:

“I’m not growing older. I’m growing bolder”.

But the second thing he said really resonated with me.

“I don’t wait for something to happen. I make it happen!”.

What a great motto.

I can look back at my 25 plus years of struggle with depression. For the first 8 years or so I did go and “make it happen”. I had faced my fears and dealt with my past…to a point. And I always knew my childhood issues were probably the cause of my depression (which I will reveal in future blogs).

But I was never fully clear of it. Never fully got over it. Never fully understood it. And to be honest with myself, never fully dealt with it. If I had, I wouldn’t have kept falling back into that deep black hole.

Looking back now, I was waiting for something to happen. I was waiting for something to change without doing anything differently. Remember the “definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over expecting the different results”.

Well I was obviously insane. I was expecting something to change at some stage. Maybe maturity was going to kick in and help (at 50). Maybe I just thought one day BANG, everything was going to be ok.

Nothing really changed at all. Yes I had some wonderful times and had great periods of happiness and joy. But always hanging over my shoulder, just behind me was a dark cloud. And I knew it was always there because I could feel it.  Then it would hit and the darkness storm would continue on like it had never left.

Then one day a friend (fellow life coach) said this to me. “You’ve been bumping up against this topic continually but you’re not dealing with it.” There was a long pause and silence. Then he said two words. Those two words hit me like a like I was blindsided on the footy field. I felt every part of my body shudder. He just said….

“It’s time.”

And as soon as he said it, I knew it was. I didn’t want to spend another year feeling like I was. And it wasn’t just about not wanting to feel depressed. I didn’t want to feel scared any more.

And that was what it boiled down to. I was scared. I was scared stiff to face my past, to face my demons. I decided there and then and there to face all the shit I had been scared of facing. I told Kim (my wife) I was going to go away for 4 days to do a course which I thought may help deal with my issues. She sent me off without question and with love.

Just like the 93-year-old barefoot water skier “Banana George”, I decided I was going to “Make It Happen”. And facing my demons on that course was the SCARIEST THING I HAD EVER DONE. But the reward on the other side has had the biggest personal gains and growth I have ever had.

I am not afraid of my past. I am not embarrassed. I am not ashamed. I don’t live in fear. I don’t have an emotional attachment to that part of my past anymore.

And for the first time in my life I found love. And it was a strange love. It was love for me. Something I had never truly felt. And that was THE gamechanger.

So if you are where I was. If you cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. If you keep doing the same thing over and over again and nothing had changed, then you need to “Make It Happen” because….

IT’S TIME!!