Today Was A Bad Day

Today was a tough day. There are some days it seemed to flow really easily, while other days just want keep throwing bricks at you. Today was one of those days.

I woke up pretty early as per usual and meditated in bed before going up to do some paperwork before work. We had a student coming to observe today want to get in early and get prepared. Whilst doing my paperwork the dog got up and started barking repetitively at Kim. I was trying to concentrate and complete my work as fast as I could and her constant barking annoyed the shit out of me. 

Kim was nice enough to take her will outside so I could complete my work. But just that distraction put me in a bit of an average mood. When I was getting ready other negative thoughts started to enter my thought patterns. Everything that hadn’t gone right that week though the play on my mind. It started to spiral.

I organised a green smoothie for breakfast for Kim and I, got ready, kissed him goodbye and walked out the door. I was leaving 15 minutes earlier than usual so I could be prepared for our visitor that day before she arrived at work. I took my motorbike out of the shed and guess what, it would not start. Being on gravel and a slight incline I couldn’t push it in by myself. It took several minutes for Kim to hear me calling out before she came out to give me a hand.

By the time I got out of my motorbike gear and got into my car I had lost another five minutes of my day. This made me even more pissed off, and to be honest, quite a foul mood. I drove up the driveway and as I get to the road, a log truck goes past. I then proceeded to spend the next five minutes travelling at 25 km/h.

You guessed it will… I became even more infuriated and frustrated with how my morning was going. I finally got to pass the log truck and proceeded to drive to work. As I entered the 60 per hour zone I looked up and saw a police car. I realised I was going a little bit over the speed limit and immediately hit my brakes. But it was too late and as I looked in the rear vision mirror I saw the blue lights come on.

I pulled over on a side street and waited for the police to arrive. It a very pleasant conversation and he was nice enough to give me a ticket… Which I thoroughly deserved. By the time he finished with me and I drove off and got to work I arrived five minutes later as I usually do. So much for well laid plans. And our visitor had yet to arrive.

I had a great day at work, but still had an underlying tightness just sitting there. When I got home I relaxed for a while and even dozed off on the lounge for a period (which is usual for a Friday afternoon). We went out did some chores and I was a little short with Kim at times.

But this was no fault of hers, it was all me being grumpy at me. But I did not know why. I sat with this for a little while and realised that I had been frustrated and felt shortchanged from something earlier in the week. I hadn’t been, but that’s what my negative thoughts were telling me.

These negative thoughts brought me down in many ways. It made me feel angry, frustrated, like life was plotting against me that day, and nothing that I could do would be right. As a result I treated person who I love and respect most in this world nowhere near as well as I should have. And what’s worse, I treated me even worse.

We have to let things go, and today was a big lesson for me. If things don’t always go your way, that’s okay. That’s just life. It cost me more than $100 today, it cost me the time to be connected with the ones I love most. It cost me happiness and joy just because I had a skewed perception on life for a short period.

When you have these moments or these days, take the time to sit down and think through it. Try and work out why you feel the way you do. Then try to understand it and put it into perspective. Or even write it down in a journal, like I have done in this blog. It is very cathartic.

I know I feel more relaxed and at ease, having a better understanding of myself. I hope you get the opportunity to feel the same freedom should the same “frustrations” occur in your life in the future.

We just have to keep on learning and adapting.